This morning in my quiet time, I began reading the book of Deuteronomy. I am really looking forward to reading this book - again - from a new perspective. At this point in history, the Israelites are standing at the edge of the Promised Land (for the second time). I want to see what Moses tells them so they will get it right - this time. Have you not had a "this time" in your life? A chance to do it again, only right this time.
It only took three verses to catch my attention. In verse 2 of Deuteronomy 1 it says, "(It takes eleven days to go from Horeb to Kadesh Barnea by the Mount Seir road.)" Then verse 3 hit me right between the eyes - "In the fortieth year, on the first day of the eleventh month..." The journey that should have taken 11 days, took 40 years! How often have we done that? A job God gives us should take days, and we have managed to stretch it into years. Now some of our jobs are meant to last for years - spouse, parent; but there are some things God is ready for us to move on, and we are afraid. Fear and unbelief tripped up the Israelites, and it trips us up, too. How often do we tell ourselves, surely He doesn't mean me? I don't have the qualifications...I don't know how...I don't have time...I don't have_ _ _ you name it.
So the Israelites didn't get to see the Promised Land - only Caleb & Joshua. The rest? Dropped in the wilderness - the very thing they complained about (how many times) happened to them. And here their children are - ready to take possession - in the 40th year, the 11th month, the 1st day. And Moses wants them to get it right, this time. And so do I, this time. I believe God will speak volumes through the pages of Deuteronomy. Lord, give me ears to hear and a heart to follow.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Auto-Pilot
Are there times you feel like you are on "Auto-Pilot?" You know...times you're just going through the motions. You're doing what needs to be done, but there's no enthusiasm...to the point you wonder what has happened. Lately I seem to feel that way. I have experienced failure at a goal I was working towards lately. In the midst of that it hit me that I'd experienced failure at something much more important - church. Thing is, I'm not even sure when it started happening - it could have been years ago. Or the many ways that it's happening. I love my Bible study and Sunday school classes, but other than that, I seem to be adrift. Oh, we still come to church on Sundays, but I'm not making any effort to come to the mid-week Lenten services or participate in our strategic planning process - which the pastor has asked me about. No matter what the excuse, truth is, I feel stale; I feel like my input doesn't matter.
Don't be confused, I haven't given up on God. I still have my quiet time; still enjoy preparing for Bible study; still love my worship & praise music; still hear God speak to me through His Word. In fact, this morning He spoke to me through Ezra 3. The first thing the people did when they returned from Babylon to begin the rebuilding process in Jerusalem was rebuild the altar and begin regular sacrifices. (Note to self - sacrifices need to be made.) Then they began the process of rebuilding the temple. When the foundation was laid, the people praised the Lord. But the older people who remembered the beauty of the former temple wept aloud. Close your eyes and picture/hear this - there was a worship service with music and song. There were shouts for joy for the progress they had made and at the same time weeping for what used to be. Verse 13 says, "No one could distinguish the sound of the shouts of joy from the sound of weeping, because the people made so much noise. And the sound was heard far away." (Note to self - you can feel joy and sorrow at the same time - and others may not be able to tell the difference because of the noise!)
At least God has begun the process of working on my heart. I'm aware of the dullness now. And I know God won't leave me this way.
Don't be confused, I haven't given up on God. I still have my quiet time; still enjoy preparing for Bible study; still love my worship & praise music; still hear God speak to me through His Word. In fact, this morning He spoke to me through Ezra 3. The first thing the people did when they returned from Babylon to begin the rebuilding process in Jerusalem was rebuild the altar and begin regular sacrifices. (Note to self - sacrifices need to be made.) Then they began the process of rebuilding the temple. When the foundation was laid, the people praised the Lord. But the older people who remembered the beauty of the former temple wept aloud. Close your eyes and picture/hear this - there was a worship service with music and song. There were shouts for joy for the progress they had made and at the same time weeping for what used to be. Verse 13 says, "No one could distinguish the sound of the shouts of joy from the sound of weeping, because the people made so much noise. And the sound was heard far away." (Note to self - you can feel joy and sorrow at the same time - and others may not be able to tell the difference because of the noise!)
At least God has begun the process of working on my heart. I'm aware of the dullness now. And I know God won't leave me this way.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Checking In
So how are all my peeps out in Blogville? It's been a week in our household...a cold one. I am so ready for warmer weather, and it seems to be ready to begin tomorrow. If you can believe the weather prognosticators! :0 I really wanted some snow Sunday, but since we've missed that, I'd just as soon wait until next winter.
An update on what I've learned since my last post - there comes a time when parents have to just let go of our children's homework. It needs to become their responsibility TOTALLY. To be honest, I'm at the stage where I don't help, but I help worry about it. Last week we experienced a crisis with a project - information lost, deadline looming, major grade. I tried to stay out of it, remain calm, and let him handle it. After all, there really wasn't anything I could do. And...he has to begin to learn how to handle these SMALL problems, because he is guaranteed larger problems in life. And I think he handled it well. Information found, deadline met, presentation made. That one's behind us. It just seems like we've had some hurdles lately...nothing big...just the ankle biter kind.
But tonight, I'm sitting in front of the fire and waiting for American Idol. I'm sure Lil Rounds will make the final 12...it'll be interesting to see who else from last night. Thought many of the performances just weren't that great. I'm also waiting to see how the Wild Card option will work. There were a couple who were left out that I think deserved to be in the final 12. Hope it works!
Well...all this randomness is about to come to an end. My eyes are getting sleepy - already. Can't believe time changes this week. I'll never be able to get up early! :)
Peace out!
An update on what I've learned since my last post - there comes a time when parents have to just let go of our children's homework. It needs to become their responsibility TOTALLY. To be honest, I'm at the stage where I don't help, but I help worry about it. Last week we experienced a crisis with a project - information lost, deadline looming, major grade. I tried to stay out of it, remain calm, and let him handle it. After all, there really wasn't anything I could do. And...he has to begin to learn how to handle these SMALL problems, because he is guaranteed larger problems in life. And I think he handled it well. Information found, deadline met, presentation made. That one's behind us. It just seems like we've had some hurdles lately...nothing big...just the ankle biter kind.
But tonight, I'm sitting in front of the fire and waiting for American Idol. I'm sure Lil Rounds will make the final 12...it'll be interesting to see who else from last night. Thought many of the performances just weren't that great. I'm also waiting to see how the Wild Card option will work. There were a couple who were left out that I think deserved to be in the final 12. Hope it works!
Well...all this randomness is about to come to an end. My eyes are getting sleepy - already. Can't believe time changes this week. I'll never be able to get up early! :)
Peace out!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
One of THOSE Days
It has already been one of THOSE days, and it's not even 8:30 in the morning for heaven's sake! D had a major project of which he lost important information. He needed to get to school early, but you guess it, we were running very late. He made it to school in time, but not in time to go beg for mercy from the teacher. I don't even want to talk about the main reason we were late...it'll just make me angrier! But one side reason, was that my coffee mug spewed coffee all over a new WHITE blouse I have yet to wear. Add to that the fact that we still have septic tank problems, and you have a glance at my day ---- one anyone would envy.
So here's a warning to anyone who knows me...you might want to steer clear of me today. I'm a woman with an attitude and I'm ready to use it! Pray for me!!!!
So here's a warning to anyone who knows me...you might want to steer clear of me today. I'm a woman with an attitude and I'm ready to use it! Pray for me!!!!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Get me through the normal!
We are blessed with a great 15-year-old son. He is responsible, respectful and thoughtful. But still the normal teenage issues can be enough to blow your mind! Knowing when to say "yes", when to say "no" and when to say "Let's just wait and see." Things could be so much more difficult, and I don't mean to complain, but sometimes this old brain just can't take another request.
I was that way last night. After I picked him up from yet another night away from home, here come two more requests, and I hit overload. I did have the presence of mind not to make an issue out of it right then - pick your battles. But as I said my prayers last night I said, "Lord, get me through the normal." It's normal requests, normal growing up and away things, normal tough for parents to let go things, normal difficult to understand where the time has gone things. For heaven's sake, he was just 5 years old a couple years ago!
K and I have both gone through these same emotional upheavals this weekend. At least his was Saturday and mine was Sunday. I tried to boost him up on Saturday, and he boosted me up last night.
So, today I thank God for "normal" issues...for a husband who can relate and nourish...for a son who is thoughtful and tries to understand...as I pray for strength to get through the normal.
I was that way last night. After I picked him up from yet another night away from home, here come two more requests, and I hit overload. I did have the presence of mind not to make an issue out of it right then - pick your battles. But as I said my prayers last night I said, "Lord, get me through the normal." It's normal requests, normal growing up and away things, normal tough for parents to let go things, normal difficult to understand where the time has gone things. For heaven's sake, he was just 5 years old a couple years ago!
K and I have both gone through these same emotional upheavals this weekend. At least his was Saturday and mine was Sunday. I tried to boost him up on Saturday, and he boosted me up last night.
So, today I thank God for "normal" issues...for a husband who can relate and nourish...for a son who is thoughtful and tries to understand...as I pray for strength to get through the normal.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Women!
That phrase can be said in all kinds of ways...exasperation, wonder, mystery, questioning. I say it with excitement because I love the women with whom and to whom I have the blessing to serve. With the Marketplace Bible Study, I have had the pleasure of meeting new people...and expanding on former relationships in new ways. Women who are new friends, yet, have some of the same struggles as older friends. We can all find common ground through our God.
On Sunday, our pastor quoted someone who said (and I'm paraphrasing), "You don't just listen to the Word, you listen for the Word." That struck me as so true. We can listen to God's Word, but are we listening FOR God's Word to speak to us? Many times, that happens for me through other women. Through our differences, I hear God speaking. Through women who see things differently than I do, who have different struggles than I do, who face obstacles differently.
Different faces, different eyes, different backgrounds, different jobs, different experiences, different families, different churches. Matters not. Women!
On Sunday, our pastor quoted someone who said (and I'm paraphrasing), "You don't just listen to the Word, you listen for the Word." That struck me as so true. We can listen to God's Word, but are we listening FOR God's Word to speak to us? Many times, that happens for me through other women. Through our differences, I hear God speaking. Through women who see things differently than I do, who have different struggles than I do, who face obstacles differently.
Different faces, different eyes, different backgrounds, different jobs, different experiences, different families, different churches. Matters not. Women!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Only Your Mother
Today I had a great visit with my mom. We laughed about things maybe others wouldn't find so funny. Like the fact that after trying to diet to get my cholesterol down - it went up 20 points. Or that after Mom was put on vitamin D, her level went down! Or the fact that even though Mom's a great nurse, doctors don't want to listen to her until she gets highly sarcastic. How about burying my grandmother on the opposite side of my grandfather than where she wanted to be buried. Although it really didn't make sense the way Nanny wanted it.
Sometimes only your mother can understand you, and you her. I saw afresh some of the same traits I have, and came away with a little better understanding of myself. In fact earlier today I wondered why I acted a certain way, and as I sat there in my mother's house, the why hit me between the eyes. And I lightened up on myself some.
Don't get me wrong, I'm close to my dad, as most girls are. But it's something about the "sisterhood" that connects mothers and daughters - if you can get past the competition, hard feelings, teenage memories and letting each other down. Mom and I have had our differences...I was a VERY moody teenager, and she was an overprotective mother. We both went through her mid-life crisis from two different sides, and survived. We experienced my first serious boyfriend together, and survived. And divorce...there is life and love after divorce.
Yes, it was a good visit. I saw the reason I do some of the things I do, and didn't resent it. I saw the woman who loves me more than any other woman I know...who I can connect with...who understands me...who I love more than any other woman I know. Only mothers...
Sometimes only your mother can understand you, and you her. I saw afresh some of the same traits I have, and came away with a little better understanding of myself. In fact earlier today I wondered why I acted a certain way, and as I sat there in my mother's house, the why hit me between the eyes. And I lightened up on myself some.
Don't get me wrong, I'm close to my dad, as most girls are. But it's something about the "sisterhood" that connects mothers and daughters - if you can get past the competition, hard feelings, teenage memories and letting each other down. Mom and I have had our differences...I was a VERY moody teenager, and she was an overprotective mother. We both went through her mid-life crisis from two different sides, and survived. We experienced my first serious boyfriend together, and survived. And divorce...there is life and love after divorce.
Yes, it was a good visit. I saw the reason I do some of the things I do, and didn't resent it. I saw the woman who loves me more than any other woman I know...who I can connect with...who understands me...who I love more than any other woman I know. Only mothers...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)