So, will the third time really be a charm with this blog? IDK... But right now, I'm hoping it will be some cheap therapy! My co-workers think what I really need are some "happy pills." I probably just need a vacation!
Most areas of my life are running along just fine...in fact, way above average. But I have this one place - isn't there always one - a place where the passion seems to be seeping out daily. I keep asking God if it's time to move. But what I seem to be hearing - especially through sermons - is that there is growth in the perseverance. Not what you want to hear when at times you allow yourself to feel miserable. But God works miracles in the desert...He brings dry bones to life...He brings light where there is darkness.
This weekend during my walks, I listened to a couple great sermons by Pastor Steven Furtick, part of Elevation Church's In-fin-8 series. The first one was on the obedience of Elijah and the second was on the disobedience of Jonah. Right now I relate more to Jonah. One thing Pastor Steven said (I'm paraphrasing) is that sometimes our ministry comes out of our misery. Like Jonah, we may not want to do what God is telling us, but that may be the very thing where He is calling us to obedience.
Instead of making New Year's Resolutions, the last couple years I have been attempting to hear certain themes God has for my life. Last year was "Awakening." This year I have felt like my theme is "Surrender." And through this difficult place, I seem to hear God asking me to surrender. It's easy to surrender when it's something we want...the difficult part is surrendering when what we really want to do is give up, leave, move on.
So, therein lies my need for therapy right now. Maybe this blog will help me sort things out: journal what I feel God is speaking to me and give me an outlet to voice my emotions. Is blogging as good as therapy? I don't know...but it sure is cheaper!