Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Experience it for the very first time...again!

When you have teenagers you get to experience all kinds of things through their eyes for the very first time ---- again! I say again because some of these things we have been through in our teens, and to be totally honest, we have no interest in going back! They weren't fun then and they wouldn't be fun now!

Case in son is going through a breakup with a girl he has dated for over a year. To be honest, it hasn't been a good relationship for about 6 months now. So many ups and downs! You remember, don't you? I sure do. Letting go for one of the parties is usually so difficult. Just when you think it's over and done, here it comes again. Having only one child - a boy - I don't always get to experience the "drama" of life that seems to come more often with girls...except in times like these.

I don't want to embarrass either one of these teens. To be honest my heart hurts for both of them. I remember those raw hurts. And in some ways it's hurting me again right now. This morning I remembered part of a Bible verse that says to give thanks in everything. Well, where do you find the thanks in this? But it didn't take long to find a "thanks." Thank you, Lord, that he's (they are) experiencing this now and not for the first time in a difficult a time when they are in their safe, familiar environments with the love of parents and friends to surround them. Because the fact of life is that there are lots of hurts. When we can first experience these hurts in a safe place, maybe...just maybe, it helps us to toughen up learn how to handle such raw have time to have time to forgive. Maybe...

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Where's the Excitement

I can't even believe they have kept this blog activated since I haven't posted in 2 months! Lately, I haven't felt the urge to post about the day-in and day-outness of my life! LOL

Lately I've been wondering - where's the excitement? Now don't get me wrong, we've had a GREAT summer going to the beach and K and I had a vacation just the two of us. (First time in 16 years!) It's been wonderful. But still - outside of my family - I'm wondering, personally, for me - where's the excitement?

I caught a glimmer of it the other day - in the beauty shop. (Can I get an 'Amen', ladies!) Time for my cut and color, and on this afternoon there were several school-aged children in there probably getting their "back-to-school" cuts. Boys getting their summer growth tamed, and girls...girls with long hair taking the plunge! It was so cute! In one chair, there was a little girl with sister and mom and dad along. Mom had a magazine in hand, and was showing the stylist what they wanted done. How much to cut, will it look good, how about the upkeep? Then in another chair, was a cute young lady with mom anxiously looking on as a new "do" takes shape. Both of those girls were absolutely adorable after the hair had fallen, and the new do had taken shape.

I thought about the difference between us - I was feeling old and ugly - they were feeling perky and cute. Their excitement was catching - it was the beginning of something new - new do, new school year, new possibilities. Don't we have that everyday - new sunrise, new day, new possibilities. I really did feel a little bit of the excitement return. Who knows what's ahead for each one of us? I'm planning to change my "can't" to a new "do!"

Monday, June 1, 2009


I must be in a slump. It's been almost a month since my last blog post. I do think about it occasionally, but never seem to feel like I have anything worth talking about! But thought I would try again today as we begin the month of June. So here are some ramblings from Susan.

On one hand, I can't believe how fast time is flying. On the other hand, I can't wait for school to finish this week. I am so longing for my child to have some down time. He has put in 9 months of HARD WORK. He's done well, but seems like studying is about all he has time for.

Maintaining relationships is DIFFICULT. Enough said.

Went to our Lutheran Church's state meeting this weekend. Came away from there excited, encouraged and inspired! I pray I/we don't lose the enthusiasm.

Concerned about loved-ones facing cancer diagnosis. Heart is breaking, yet again.

Excited about a new ministry I hope will open up. At the same time, need to tone down excitement in areas I have no authority in. Difficult to do. Lots of ideas in my mind lately. Need to get them on paper to see what is viable.

Feeling bad about mistakes at work. Where has my brain been lately? Who knows...

Feeling grateful for wonderful friends. Not too long ago, it felt like I didn't have time to devote to those friendships. Now...more time opening up, and I feel so blessed.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE "date night" with my hubby.

So there - you have various states of my mind. Not pretty, huh!

Thursday, May 7, 2009


Do you ever wake up weary? I did today. It happens occasionally. I used to think it was hormonal...but most of my hormones waved bye-bye to me some time ago. So, don't know what my excuse is now. Went to bed at 10:30...not so late...and to sleep shortly after that. Maybe it's the rain that has been around all week. Yeah, that's it...I'm missing out on my daily dose of vitamin D!

Regardless of the reason, days like this I can hardly make a decision. I'm glad I had my clothes ready for this morning - I'd probably still be home trying to figure out what to wear. I'm even having a difficult time trying to decide whether I go get Mother's Day presents today or tomorrow. See...insufficient gray matter today! :)

One thing I didn't forget to do this morning was pray. Today is the National Day of Prayer. See who the Honorary Chair is this year. So no matter if you're weary, excited, bored or normal (whatever that is) take a moment today to pray...pray for our president, our nation, our leaders, our state, our families, our homes...everything. God hears our prayers...He answers our prayers...He wants our prayers.

"I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone - for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth." (1 Timothy 2:1-4)

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Mind Boggling

So...I haven't blogged in over a month. Just seems like I haven't had anything worth blogging about lately. Not that I do now...I've just got my "chatty" back so this post is bound to be a bit random. For some reason today a lot is roaming around in my mind. If you haven't been over to the LPM blog lately, now is the time to check it out. Melissa is on a trip with Compassion and it is a heart stopper.

Tomorrow is my Marketplace Bible Study day, and I'm not exactly sure what to do. I have a lesson ready - in fact, I now have 2 lessons. We'll just have to see where the Lord leads. So many times I feel so inadequate to lead Bible study. But I LOVE it. I just want God's message out there - not mine. I also feel like sometimes I turn people off. And really don't want to hurt feelings in the process of taking the Word of God to the People of God.

This leads to my Thursday night Bible study I worked on this afternoon - Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed. We're on the first 2 weeks, and I just finished the first week of homework. Priscilla hit me over the head with this first week. She talked about how God chooses us and equips us for the good works He has prepared for us to do. That we can't do it in our power, but God can do it through us. However, what spoke to me was the fact that programs don't matter, but people do, and her final story of a missed opportunity to share the Gospel.

All this was on my mind as I walked today. How do I reach out to the poor? What should Bible study focus on tomorrow? How am I reaching out to those right here in my backyard? Do I realize that people matter more than programs to God? Hence the mind-boggling state I find myself. Over time, it'll be sorted out. But for now, a lot of questions.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

40th year, 11th month, 1st day...

This morning in my quiet time, I began reading the book of Deuteronomy. I am really looking forward to reading this book - again - from a new perspective. At this point in history, the Israelites are standing at the edge of the Promised Land (for the second time). I want to see what Moses tells them so they will get it right - this time. Have you not had a "this time" in your life? A chance to do it again, only right this time.

It only took three verses to catch my attention. In verse 2 of Deuteronomy 1 it says, "(It takes eleven days to go from Horeb to Kadesh Barnea by the Mount Seir road.)" Then verse 3 hit me right between the eyes - "In the fortieth year, on the first day of the eleventh month..." The journey that should have taken 11 days, took 40 years! How often have we done that? A job God gives us should take days, and we have managed to stretch it into years. Now some of our jobs are meant to last for years - spouse, parent; but there are some things God is ready for us to move on, and we are afraid. Fear and unbelief tripped up the Israelites, and it trips us up, too. How often do we tell ourselves, surely He doesn't mean me? I don't have the qualifications...I don't know how...I don't have time...I don't have_ _ _ you name it.

So the Israelites didn't get to see the Promised Land - only Caleb & Joshua. The rest? Dropped in the wilderness - the very thing they complained about (how many times) happened to them. And here their children are - ready to take possession - in the 40th year, the 11th month, the 1st day. And Moses wants them to get it right, this time. And so do I, this time. I believe God will speak volumes through the pages of Deuteronomy. Lord, give me ears to hear and a heart to follow.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


Are there times you feel like you are on "Auto-Pilot?" You know...times you're just going through the motions. You're doing what needs to be done, but there's no the point you wonder what has happened. Lately I seem to feel that way. I have experienced failure at a goal I was working towards lately. In the midst of that it hit me that I'd experienced failure at something much more important - church. Thing is, I'm not even sure when it started happening - it could have been years ago. Or the many ways that it's happening. I love my Bible study and Sunday school classes, but other than that, I seem to be adrift. Oh, we still come to church on Sundays, but I'm not making any effort to come to the mid-week Lenten services or participate in our strategic planning process - which the pastor has asked me about. No matter what the excuse, truth is, I feel stale; I feel like my input doesn't matter.

Don't be confused, I haven't given up on God. I still have my quiet time; still enjoy preparing for Bible study; still love my worship & praise music; still hear God speak to me through His Word. In fact, this morning He spoke to me through Ezra 3. The first thing the people did when they returned from Babylon to begin the rebuilding process in Jerusalem was rebuild the altar and begin regular sacrifices. (Note to self - sacrifices need to be made.) Then they began the process of rebuilding the temple. When the foundation was laid, the people praised the Lord. But the older people who remembered the beauty of the former temple wept aloud. Close your eyes and picture/hear this - there was a worship service with music and song. There were shouts for joy for the progress they had made and at the same time weeping for what used to be. Verse 13 says, "No one could distinguish the sound of the shouts of joy from the sound of weeping, because the people made so much noise. And the sound was heard far away." (Note to self - you can feel joy and sorrow at the same time - and others may not be able to tell the difference because of the noise!)

At least God has begun the process of working on my heart. I'm aware of the dullness now. And I know God won't leave me this way.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Checking In

So how are all my peeps out in Blogville? It's been a week in our household...a cold one. I am so ready for warmer weather, and it seems to be ready to begin tomorrow. If you can believe the weather prognosticators! :0 I really wanted some snow Sunday, but since we've missed that, I'd just as soon wait until next winter.

An update on what I've learned since my last post - there comes a time when parents have to just let go of our children's homework. It needs to become their responsibility TOTALLY. To be honest, I'm at the stage where I don't help, but I help worry about it. Last week we experienced a crisis with a project - information lost, deadline looming, major grade. I tried to stay out of it, remain calm, and let him handle it. After all, there really wasn't anything I could do. And...he has to begin to learn how to handle these SMALL problems, because he is guaranteed larger problems in life. And I think he handled it well. Information found, deadline met, presentation made. That one's behind us. It just seems like we've had some hurdles lately...nothing big...just the ankle biter kind.

But tonight, I'm sitting in front of the fire and waiting for American Idol. I'm sure Lil Rounds will make the final'll be interesting to see who else from last night. Thought many of the performances just weren't that great. I'm also waiting to see how the Wild Card option will work. There were a couple who were left out that I think deserved to be in the final 12. Hope it works!

Well...all this randomness is about to come to an end. My eyes are getting sleepy - already. Can't believe time changes this week. I'll never be able to get up early! :)

Peace out!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

One of THOSE Days

It has already been one of THOSE days, and it's not even 8:30 in the morning for heaven's sake! D had a major project of which he lost important information. He needed to get to school early, but you guess it, we were running very late. He made it to school in time, but not in time to go beg for mercy from the teacher. I don't even want to talk about the main reason we were'll just make me angrier! But one side reason, was that my coffee mug spewed coffee all over a new WHITE blouse I have yet to wear. Add to that the fact that we still have septic tank problems, and you have a glance at my day ---- one anyone would envy.

So here's a warning to anyone who knows might want to steer clear of me today. I'm a woman with an attitude and I'm ready to use it! Pray for me!!!!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Get me through the normal!

We are blessed with a great 15-year-old son. He is responsible, respectful and thoughtful. But still the normal teenage issues can be enough to blow your mind! Knowing when to say "yes", when to say "no" and when to say "Let's just wait and see." Things could be so much more difficult, and I don't mean to complain, but sometimes this old brain just can't take another request.

I was that way last night. After I picked him up from yet another night away from home, here come two more requests, and I hit overload. I did have the presence of mind not to make an issue out of it right then - pick your battles. But as I said my prayers last night I said, "Lord, get me through the normal." It's normal requests, normal growing up and away things, normal tough for parents to let go things, normal difficult to understand where the time has gone things. For heaven's sake, he was just 5 years old a couple years ago!

K and I have both gone through these same emotional upheavals this weekend. At least his was Saturday and mine was Sunday. I tried to boost him up on Saturday, and he boosted me up last night.

So, today I thank God for "normal" issues...for a husband who can relate and nourish...for a son who is thoughtful and tries to I pray for strength to get through the normal.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


That phrase can be said in all kinds of ways...exasperation, wonder, mystery, questioning. I say it with excitement because I love the women with whom and to whom I have the blessing to serve. With the Marketplace Bible Study, I have had the pleasure of meeting new people...and expanding on former relationships in new ways. Women who are new friends, yet, have some of the same struggles as older friends. We can all find common ground through our God.

On Sunday, our pastor quoted someone who said (and I'm paraphrasing), "You don't just listen to the Word, you listen for the Word." That struck me as so true. We can listen to God's Word, but are we listening FOR God's Word to speak to us? Many times, that happens for me through other women. Through our differences, I hear God speaking. Through women who see things differently than I do, who have different struggles than I do, who face obstacles differently.

Different faces, different eyes, different backgrounds, different jobs, different experiences, different families, different churches. Matters not. Women!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Only Your Mother

Today I had a great visit with my mom. We laughed about things maybe others wouldn't find so funny. Like the fact that after trying to diet to get my cholesterol down - it went up 20 points. Or that after Mom was put on vitamin D, her level went down! Or the fact that even though Mom's a great nurse, doctors don't want to listen to her until she gets highly sarcastic. How about burying my grandmother on the opposite side of my grandfather than where she wanted to be buried. Although it really didn't make sense the way Nanny wanted it.

Sometimes only your mother can understand you, and you her. I saw afresh some of the same traits I have, and came away with a little better understanding of myself. In fact earlier today I wondered why I acted a certain way, and as I sat there in my mother's house, the why hit me between the eyes. And I lightened up on myself some.

Don't get me wrong, I'm close to my dad, as most girls are. But it's something about the "sisterhood" that connects mothers and daughters - if you can get past the competition, hard feelings, teenage memories and letting each other down. Mom and I have had our differences...I was a VERY moody teenager, and she was an overprotective mother. We both went through her mid-life crisis from two different sides, and survived. We experienced my first serious boyfriend together, and survived. And divorce...there is life and love after divorce.

Yes, it was a good visit. I saw the reason I do some of the things I do, and didn't resent it. I saw the woman who loves me more than any other woman I know...who I can connect with...who understands me...who I love more than any other woman I know. Only mothers...

Monday, February 2, 2009

A Bright Future

Yesterday was just an awesome day with Youth Sunday. We have the best group of kids, and I am so proud of our seniors for hanging in there with us this year. Our main leader is just so awesome. (I know I'm using that word a lot...but can't think of a better one!) And the kids just love her so much. The Holy Spirit pulled it all together - the theme, the scriptures, the skits, the music, the solo, the hymns, the participation. We just sat back in wonder!

A few of the wonders that came to me yesterday as I watched the kids:

1) Never stop planting seeds in all kinds of ways. You never know when a seed will take in a youth...or which seed. Maybe it's just a word in a prayer, a verse of scripture, a video, a smile, letting them be them instead of holding the reigns too tightly, fellowship between services, giving them ownership. As adults, we want them to get it all...but it's OK if they just come away with one seed. God will do the rest.

2) I love to watch them grow. When they come into the youth group as 6th graders, they get on every last nerve of the older youth. But as they continue to participate and grow together with the whole group, pretty soon you see those same 6th graders taking responsibility as high schoolers. Maybe the same one who would have acted up during Youth Sunday is now the one reigning in the new 6th grader who just cannot help him/herself. Watching them grow and mature is oh so fulfilling and brings tears to my eyes.

3) Let them have fun with it. It's OK if they make a mistake...move doesn't have to be perfect. It just needs to be THEM. They have a love for God that may look and sound different from our generation. That doesn't lessen it or make it wrong. In fact, I think God smiles down on our differences and how we incorporate Him into our lives in our own ways. Like David, we don't need an armor from a Saul, we just need our own slingshot and stones.

4) Be flexible. If someone wants to do something...let him/her. If it makes someone else uncomfortable, let them be just part of the group. If someone wants to change up the script, go with it. If someone comes in at the last minute, include them. If you cry, let the tears flow. Because time goes by too fast.

I love our youth...they are our future. And may I say, our future is bright! Grab your sunglasses and go with the flow!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

My Passion

For those of you who may not know me, my passion is women's Bible study. There is no feeling quite like taking the Word of God to the People of God and being able to interact with that group. And after it's over to know that God was there and He blessed it! I love my WOW ladies here at the church, but now I am also blessed to be able to do this through a community Bible study. On Wednesdays from 1:00-2:00 I meet with ladies from the community to discuss whatever the Lord has in mind for us.

Last Wednesday was my first time with this group, and boy was I nervous! But today...oh, today was wonderful and God was awesome. We talked about Ruth after having discussed Naomi last week. Ruth has some wonderful character traits for us. Loyalty - humility - self-starter - patience - hard worker - bold actions! We talked about how we can be both - Ruth or Naomi - given whatever kind of day we may have had. And that we can live with both! Real life - real problems - real situations - real God. Now that's a passion worth our time!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Much Needed Girl Time

This weekend was so much fun! Ten of us girls headed to Folly Beach for a WOW Bible study retreat. The time with these nine wonderful women was everything I hoped it would be - fun...fellowship...sharing...caring...Bible study...relaxing... peaceful...we watched movies (chick flicks)...ate great food...snacked ALL the time...sipped on wine...stayed up until 3 AM...watched the sun rise...laughed... cried...hugged...cared.

It never ceases to amaze me how ten women with such different personalities can gel so good together. We each have our own likes, dislikes, causes, talents, strengths, weaknesses, irritating habits and caring hearts; we agree, we disagree, yet we remain true to each other all the same. Brought together by Bible study, kept together by love. A feat only God could accomplish.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Encouraged in Heart

Today is the day to post our second memory verse of the year on the LPL Blog. The last few days I have been searching and asking what my next verse should be, and this morning something came to me. The main word I heard was "mystery." See Drew is going to a 16th birthday party for a friend from school, and it's going to be a murder mystery set in the 1920's. He is having such fun finding clothes to wear for this. He dressed up last night in one of K's old suits and looked fabulous! So this morning, I remembered reading a verse about Christ being the mystery of God, and I started searching for it. Sure enough it's in Colossians 2:2-3, "My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love so that they may know the mystery of God, namely Christ in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge."

I want you to notice that it also has the word "encouraged" in there. See this week in our Can We Talk? Bible study, we've been studying the tongue. One thing that jumped out at me during this week's readings is that we should be encouraging one another. You know how themes seem to come in multiples. As I left the preschool area a few minutes ago, I heard our director giving a parent encouraging words about their child. Don't we all want that - for our children for ourselves?

Now let me be the first to say that I don't do near enough encouraging - coworkers, spouse, child, friends, etc. It's too easy to get wrapped up in self and all "I" have to do that encouraging falls by the wayside. So it's now become a goal with me to be more of an encourager and less of a discourager. I'm hoping to stop and think more often BEFORE I say something rather than after!

So I believe this is the PERFECT scripture memory verse for me over these next two weeks...and the rest of the year. I pray that this doesn't just get into my head, but that it also gets into my heart!

Friday, January 9, 2009

The Redeemed Will Sing Forever

I just finished my walk at the Creek. It was so invigorating this morning. I'll be honest some days it's just a drudgery. I'm not quite sure what makes the difference. I listen to my music every time unless I run into a friend to walk with. I think a lot of it is my current state of mind...of course. Sometimes it's the music that just happens on my I-pod or ones I pick. For my last pick this this morning I listened to this. It is absolutely wonderful. Go out to I-tunes and download it for yourself or get Travis Cottrell's Ring the Bells CD - it will only improve your state of mind! You know how silly I am, but this morning I could almost feel the redeemed "walking" beside me...angels hovering above me saying, "You know it's true." Tears came to my eyes...Salvation's song - Jesus saves! This You Tube version cuts off the end of the song, but it goes, "The redeemed will sing forever, the redeemed will sing forever, the redeemed will sing forever...Jesus saves!" Let's join the song.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Back in the Saddle Again

Y'all! What fun Bible Study was tonight! We had a great group of people and the most fun talking about what we were thankful for today. Everyone had such great stories from their day. From the rising of the sun (that beautiful sky) to the rising of the moon (almost full and beautiful), from dining with a stranger to being thankful for our families and friends! God has blessed us so, hasn't He,Girls!

We are just beginning Priscilla Shirer's Can We Talk. I can't wait to see and hear about the experiences of each person over the next 6 weeks. I'm ready to dig into the Word myself. I'm still striving for that year of Re-purpose...where I focus more on Jesus and less on the "stuff" of Bible study. What good is it to me if I grudgingly go to class each Thursday? Girls, this is going to be F U N - Filling, Unifying and Nourishing! So let's make a pact to read God's Word, see what He has to say to us individually and share our love as we gather each Thursday. Don't worry about getting it perfect...the Perfect One is what we are after! Let's get started!


Powerful...Enough said!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Happy Epiphany!

January 6 - Epiphany 2009...
...Thoughts rolling through my mind

I moved the "wise men" to the manger scene this morning. Time to put up the baby food jar Christmas tree for another year. I'm really surprised my aunt has not called to wish me a happy Epiphany. My prayer this morning was for God's light to shine in my life...and that I don't have blinders on, but see it!

Who goes to these horror movies? (just saw a commercial for Unborn - YUK) Is there anything good on TV anymore? What happened to Chuck this week? I've seen House...guess I'll try Biggest Loser.

Went to 10th grade (rising 11th grade) curriculum night where they gave parents PSAT and ACT scores, career counseling info, college requirements, websites, scholarship information, high school graduation requirement...I believe my brain is fried! It didn't seem this difficult when I was in school. But that was a looooooong time ago!

Sorry this is such a random post. I have been so hyper the last two days - must be hormones (and a tad of caffeine)! I haven't been able to go to sleep right away, so I think I'm about to hit the wall tonight. Maybe that will mean a good night's sleep.

Not only am I getting tired...but my battery is getting low. Better go.

Peace out!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

The Collards are Cooking!

Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year. K is cooking the collards outside,and I have the black-eyed peas going inside; the roast is in the crockpot and the tea is steeping. It's going to be a good day!