Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Battling the Pity Party

It has been a week! We have been battling the "crud" that's been going around. After three days of fever, my child is back at school - worrying about how the day will go with all he's missed. Someone said that in high school when you miss a couple days it's like missing a week, and I agree. He has two upcoming tests - one today and one tomorrow - for which he is not prepared because he wasn't in class for the review. But it will work out.

While my child struggles with this, I'm struggling with my own feelings of inadequacy. Your children's teenage years bring this on - am I making the right decisions - am I picking the right battles - have I set the right parameters - am I over-reacting - am I too lax.....the list goes on and on and on.

I think Satan likes to jump on the bandwagon when we're struggling. This morning was late start day at the high school, and since I didn't want Drew walking in this wind after being sick, we waited a little later to leave the house. With time on my hands, I looked around my home - bad idea. Ya'll, I am absolutely the WORST housekeeper. There are clothes on the floor that need to go to Drew's closet (now that he's well, those can be put up today). It's been 2 weeks since I've vacuumed - had a "date" with my husband last weekend. I can't tell you the last time I've swept the garage. There is "stuff" everywhere. I make resolutions to do better, and I don't. I need to get rid of things I don't use, because I have no storage space. I literally put things in the mud room closet and slam the door, hoping nothing falls out! I apologize when people stop by...but the thing is, it never changes. My house looks half-way decent for 1 day when I clean, then it's right back to how it was before.

The theme of my pity party today is "Why can't I change?" I want to do better --- but I always fall short. Why can't I follow through and have a good house cleaning? Why don't I take the time to pull things out of closets and cabinets and discard?

I was getting ready to go on and on about this, but I think you've heard enough and I've said enough. You get the idea. Anyway - if you have good pity parties, let me know. We can battle them together.



Anonymous said...

Well Sweetie, you are not the only one in the midst of pity parties. Seems like I have been in one that has lasted at least the last year. I am so exhausted fighting the bureaucracy of DDSN policies in attempts to provide better things for Clay. Regardless how I attempt things, they find a way out of helping with things he is in need of. The nation's economy is rapidly rising and getting out of hand and recently our one income source became slashed salary. I do not want to learn how much more we have to endure.........I want to be beyond it and for a while get a taste of something wonderful happening in our lives.....then it could level to constant good things rather than constant negative things. It is so difficult to understand the whys we've been tested without time or flexibility to just rest and sense peace. Does it ever get better? I feel so discouraged of late, but spring will officially be returning soon and the warm, sunny outside will reawaken in emerging greens and all the colors of the rainbow. I need to experience color again to recapture some hope and to end my prolonged pity party..............grace be to God

Cindy R. said...

Yo, Sis! We women have all battled the same demons at some point in our lives. Your focus is on the right things...your hubby and your child. Housekeeping can wait. Drew will be out of your house faster than you'll ever want to believe, then you'll have plenty of time to clean & organize. It might even stay cleaner longer and then you'll have more time for yourself and dates with hubby ;>

Trust me, your heart is in the right place...after all, God designed our hearts, not vacuum cleaners!!!

Love you Sis!