Do you have trouble letting go of things? I do. Seems there are times I obsess over things that are not that big in the grand scheme of things. But when they're happening, they seem to be huge. My current (OK, let's be honest, on-going) struggle is letting go of the homework responsibility. Now to give myself some credit, I don't generally get involved until there's a project due. D has 2 projects due this week, and I have once again turned into the "Homework Nazi."
As I was sitting and praying about it this morning, I began to realize that I'm making a mountain out of a mole-hill. And I'm trying to be king (or queen) of this mountain. It's not mine...it's Drew's. He will never learn the consequences of procrastination if I'm staying on him. At the same time, letting go of the responsibility of homework does not mean that I let go of the parenting responsibilities. What I'm trying to say, I think, is that I'm in charge of certain consequences when/if things fall through. But I need to let the original responsibility fall on D.
In the grand scheme of things, this season of homework and grades is short. Let's be honest, how many of us remember all that we learned in school? Only if it's part of our job, right? The schools want a higher level because it makes them look good. I'm not saying they don't care about our kids, but, as in most things in life, it comes down to how it impacts them. D has to be who and what he is - which is a wonderful, well-rounded, young man. To be honest, for me, that's much more important than if he makes an A or a C. He'll go to college - maybe not Harvard, but that's not who he is, anyway. It's much more important to let him learn the hard way than for me to make sure he doesn't fail. That's one of the hardest parts of parenting - letting your children make mistakes. We naturally want the best for them, but sometimes it's better to let them learn the hard way than to always give them the best.
So...my job is to provide the guidelines for D. Then let go and let him work within those rules. If it fails, he will work his way back up. Isn't that what life is all about...learning from our mistakes. It won't be easy for me, but it will be best for D.