Life Transitions

I am middle age...well, that's probably being generous - I am in my mid-50's. I married in my mid 20's - just celebrated my 30th anniversary - YAYAYAY!  Took us 10 years to have a child - who has now completed his second year of college. Life has been in transition the last few years. I guess it is ALWAYS in transition, but when your child grows up and out, it seems more life-altering.

I guess that's why I need a little "therapy." Some days, I'm OK with the empty nest of college, and the adult decisions my child is making, and other times, I'm not. I'm also at a place where I'm wondering all over again...what do I want to do with my life? I've been in the same job for 14 years, and to be honest, I'm bored. My responsibilities have changed over the years - I don't have as many now. Some days that's nice. But I'm a take charge kind of person, and truth be told, I don't feel the passion and doubt my usefulness.

Also in this mix is the fact that my husband and I are dreaming of retirement. Of mornings where we can sleep in, take day trips, work less, volunteer more. That MAY become a reality in the next 5 years. So can I just hang in there? I don't know...

Part of reason to revive this blog is to give me an outlet to voice my questions and  question my choices. Not really expecting anyone to read it. Don't know that I will find answers, but sometimes it helps just to get those feelings out. I am trying to listen for God's voice in the midst of these questions, doubts, decisions. And maybe avoid the high price of therapy and drugs!

Here we go again!

So, will the third time really be a charm with this blog? IDK... But right now, I'm hoping it will be some cheap therapy! My co-workers think what I really need are some "happy pills." I probably just need a vacation!

Most areas of my life are running along just fine...in fact, way above average. But I have this one place - isn't there always one - a place where the passion seems to be seeping out daily. I keep asking God if it's time to move. But what I seem to be hearing - especially through sermons - is that there is growth in the perseverance. Not what you want to hear when at times you allow yourself to feel miserable. But God works miracles in the desert...He brings dry bones to life...He brings light where there is darkness.

This weekend during my walks, I listened to a couple great sermons by Pastor Steven Furtick, part of Elevation Church's In-fin-8 series. The first one was on the obedience of Elijah and the second was on the disobedience of Jonah. Right now I relate more to Jonah. One thing Pastor Steven said (I'm paraphrasing) is that sometimes our ministry comes out of our misery. Like Jonah, we may not want to do what God is telling us, but that may be the very thing where He is calling us to obedience.

Instead of making New Year's Resolutions, the last couple years I have been attempting to hear certain themes God has for my life. Last year was "Awakening."  This year I have felt like my theme is "Surrender." And through this difficult place, I seem to hear God asking me to surrender. It's easy to surrender when it's something we want...the difficult part is surrendering when what we really want to do is give up, leave, move on.

So, therein lies my need for therapy right now. Maybe this blog will help me sort things out: journal what I feel God is speaking to me and give me an outlet to voice my emotions. Is blogging as good as therapy? I don't know...but it sure is cheaper!

48 Hours

OK...so for 48 hours this weekend the universe was back in sync. From Friday afternoon till Sunday afternoon, our boy was H.O.M.E. And all was right with the world...at least our part of it. It was so wonderful. We not only had D home, but his best friend was with him most of the weekend. It was so great hearing boys' voices - talking, playing video games, re-connecting. But then Sunday afternoon came. The boy was excited about going back to school - which is what you want as a parent. But we couldn't stop the tears from coming in our eyes. We weren't as bad as when we left him at college, but we couldn't control the filling of our eyes. Thank goodness we had a birthday celebration to attend after he left. It helped us get back in the empty nest groove without too much pain.

Now we are looking forward to our trip up there for Family Weekend in two weeks. He has friends who will be visiting as well, so I know our time will be limited, but we'll take what we can get! Let the countdown begin!

Observances - Week Three

Here are some things I've noticed as we work our way through week 3 as Empty Nesters:

• There is life after your kids leave home. We have settled into a new routine, and it's not so bad.
• You get to know your spouse all over again. Usually by the time kids go off to college, they aren't home much anyway. But with no kids at home, we have each other to focus on.
• It's good to have something new and different to look forward to. K and I are taking Shag dance lessons during the week which we are both enjoying. We also practice during the week - which takes up some "empty" time. It's like a mid-week "date night."
• We are thankful for all the different avenues to communicate. During the last 2 and a half weeks, D has Skyped us, called us and texted us. I love them all because it's an opportunity to see how things are going.
• We still miss him! Just because we are adjusting doesn't mean that we don't miss Drew. At times we can feel the emptiness inside us. We have our phones with us and charged at ALL TIMES in case he calls or texts. We watch Facebook to see how it's going - with him and his friends. We are thankful for every update.

The boy is coming home this weekend, and we are so excited! I have no illusions that he will spend all his time with us. In fact I have an all-day Bible study on Saturday, but he will have time with his dad. I'm hoping he will spend Friday date night dinner with us. He has friends to see - but I'm hoping there will be a "Cave Night" at our house on Saturday. I know he'll be at church on Sunday and eat Sunday lunch with us. We'll spend some family time on Sunday and try not to cry when he leaves for school later Sunday afternoon. After all, it will only be two weeks until Family Weekend. Yes, right now, our lives still occasionally revolve around the boy...but that's OK.

Week Two

OK, so we are in week two without child, and things are going pretty good. Day to day life is settling in. Yes, I am still cooking supper - even though I thought that might change! Just less often because we seem to have more left-overs and so less need to cook each night! We are looking for projects to keep us busy and our minds occupied. I started cleaning the "spare room" this weekend. But at the same time I got wrapped up in some movies. So, it doesn't look like I accomplished much! K started trimming shrubbery and doing some yard work.

The boy is settling in with classes, homework, studies, and juggling of college life. He and the girlfriend decided to take a break. It's difficult to keep up a relationship when you are in different places - physically and mentally. He is moving on to adulthood, and we are trying hard to let go and let that happen.

In the midst of all of this, I know that God is in control...here, there and everywhere. We will all survive and mature and hopefully, thrive, in this new environment. And when it's time to reunite, we will do so with so much love and excitement, our hearts will just about burst. Then, we'll settle into the rhythm again. Life...

The tears...they did flow!

OK...so this last week has been one of the toughest for us. Preparing for D to leave for college, and then the actual act of driving away was tough. I think even tougher was the next day - Sunday - first day he wasn't home with us. Church was so emotional. I wasn't sure we would make it through...two baptisms, one baby and one friend of D's affirming her baptism, then a video of a middle schooler - a boy, of course. It all just reminded us of how fast time flies. E.M.O.T.I.O.N.A.L!

The week before D left, I opened my Bible one morning to Numbers 11:16-23. It's the part where Moses is about to lose it! Leadership of the Israelites is about to get the best of him! God tells him to select 70 elders, and God would take some of the spirit that was on Moses and put it on the elders to help him lead. Moses is still struggling with the lastest issue - feeding the Israelites meat and is questioning God about how they are going to do this. God said to Moses, "Is the Lord's arm too short?" I felt right then and there in my spirit that God was asking me the same thing. "Is the Lord's arm too short? Am I not at college just like I am here? Won't I continue to look over D there just like I'm doing here?" That gave me comfort...no, God's arm is not too short. Now my stomach was still in knots - but I knew that God was not going to drop my son. That HE would be at college watching over him.

Back to this past Sunday, just as we wondered how long it would take us to get over this feeling of emptiness, God blessed us with a Skype visit with D. It was like he was right there in the kitchen with us. We saw how well he's doing (at least now before classes start - haha) and something inside both K and I just settled down. God's got this. No, it won't all be wonderful all the time. Yes, there will be struggles and disappointments. I'm sure there will be moments of crisis. But God's arm is not too short.

Working at it!

If you read Priscilla Shirer's Blog then you know that she's talking about the Revolution Resolution Project. Last Friday she focused on Resolution #10: I will be faithful to my husband and honor him in my conduct and conversation, in order to bring glory to the name of the Lord. I will aspire to be a suitable partner for him to help him reach his God-given potential. She asked us to honor our husbands by not challenging them for anything they said for 24 hours. Needless to say, this was a tough challenge. So much so, that she extended the deadline because there were so few "takers."

I'm not only trying to do this with my husband, but with my 18-year-old, college-bound, son. He needs to learn independence...I need to learn to let go. One good way to practice this is to watch what I say - especially in trying to tell him what to do and how to do it. I know in my heart I'm just trying to help him be prepared. But, unfortunately, we learn more from our mistakes than our successes. So...I need to let him do things his way.

Ladies, why is this so difficult for us. To let the men in our life lead? In fact, I have trouble with this in EVERY ASPECT of my life. I think I have good ideas, and everyone needs to hear them - at work, at church, at home! I guess it all started in the Garden of Eden with Eve giving Adam some dietary advice, and we've been going with it ever since! :)

You know what I've found since I started this challenge? That when I am successful at watching what I say, things roll smoother. Life really does move on - without my advice...and pretty well, I might add. I'm not saying we shouldn't ever say anything, I'm just saying maybe we can learn the right times to speak and the right time to stay quiet...pick our battles...don't be so quick to get on our soapbox...let our children make some mistakes and learn and grow...let go when the time is right. I'm afraid it will always be a challenge for me...but one I want to take on!

Transitions

I know that moms are ALWAYS in transition - even when we don't realize it. But I'm at a crossroads in my "mom-hood"...my son is going of to college in 3 days! My only son...my only child! I have honestly been trying to let go, and really by the time they are seniors in high school - they are so busy, you have no choice but to let go. Now, he's only going to be 2 hours away and will probably come home some weekends other than holidays. But still...

As I think about it, if I'm honest, it's that I will no longer be in control. I know, I know, that control has been diminishing over the years, but, come on now, I still have a little bit - he's still living under my roof. But not 3 days from now. I won't be able to whisper good-bye to him as I head off to work. I won't be able to listen for him to come in late at night. I won't be able to bug him with a to-do list, because I won't know what he needs to do! Oh...I will miss that boy. He doesn't even realize how much.

In my devotions this morning, God led me to Numbers 11:16-23 where God tells Moses to gather 70 elders together and He will put His Spirit on them and enable them to help Moses lead. What really spoke to me was verse 23 where the LORD asks Moses, "Is the LORD's arm too short?" I felt God was asking me that - "Can my arm not reach to college?" "Will my Spirit not be on him there?" "Who's really in control here?" You, God...not me. You always have been...always will be.

So even though my stomach is still in knots; even though I will be fighting off tears the next few days...I know I can find comfort in the fact that God's arm is NOT too short. He has ALWAYS been in control and always will be. He will look after my boy. But I will be texting! :)

Only God

Yes, it's been a long, long, long time since I've put up a new blog post. But today I feel the words coming out of me.

I had my annual physical today. YUCK - not my favorite thing to do. My doctor is 25 miles from me, and with gas prices being what they are, I've been wondering if I shouldn't just get a doctor closer to my home and work. But he's been with me through thick and thin, and I can't seem to do it just yet.

And I don't think I was supposed to do it this year. See in the midst of this routine physical, God reminded me how blessed I am. My doctor was reviewing my 3-inch thick file, updating info, and he wondered out loud how many laparoscopies he had performed on me. I have lost count as well - it was a long time ago. After his comment, I told him my son will graduate from high school this year. He looked up in disbelief, and said, "You are lucky." I told him, "I know it." But I should have said, "I am blessed."

See it took my husband and me 10 years to have a child. Back then, after all those surgeries, my doctor told me there comes a time where you realize you have to stop and consider other options. He would do one more laparoscopy, and one more was all we needed. Within 9 months, I was pregnant! When I called my doctor with the news, he got on the phone and said, "How did you do it? I mean I know how you did it, but what did you do?" Nothing...only God.

We could only have the one child - but that was enough. Now that miracle is getting ready to graduate high school, has had a faith awakening by the Holy Spirit and is planning his future. Unbelievable. Only God.

Re-Commitment

OK...so it's 2010. My theme for this year is re-commitment. As you can tell, (I'm probably talking to myself, because I don't think anyone reads this!) I have not posted is for-ever! This re-commitment thing has a long way to go and touches a lot of areas in my life.

At the same time I felt the Lord give me this theme for 2010, we began Priscilla Shirer's One in a Million. And may I say, it is SPEAKING to me. Along with that, God is so gracious to show me so many areas of my life that need to be recommitted to Him.

But y'all...it's so difficult. 2010 is only 11 days old and that old way of thinking is slipping back in. My mouth got ahead of my good sense today. My emotions about got the best of me today. The feeling of being overwhelmed almost overtook me today. At the same time, I feel like I am right on the edge of an epiphany from God. Will I be still, listen and allow the Holy Spirit to connect the dots? I pray I will.

As my church begins an initiative of reading through the Bible - today I began my reading of Matthew 1-3 in The Message Bible. What spoke to me was the last part of Matthew 3:2, "Change your life. God's kingdom is here." God is speaking to me of the changes I need to begin this year. I say begin because I know it will be a daily process that will only end when faith becomes sight.

So as the title of my blog confesses, here I am Be...ginning Again! Isn't that what it's about? Realizing where we are, where we need to go, and beginning the journey again - this time on the narrow path. I'm sure I'll step off - I already have. But God is good, and He will guide me back, if only I will daily recommit my way to Him!

Experience it for the very first time...again!

When you have teenagers you get to experience all kinds of things through their eyes for the very first time ---- again! I say again because some of these things we have been through in our teens, and to be totally honest, we have no interest in going back! They weren't fun then and they wouldn't be fun now!

Case in point...my son is going through a breakup with a girl he has dated for over a year. To be honest, it hasn't been a good relationship for about 6 months now. So many ups and downs! You remember, don't you? I sure do. Letting go for one of the parties is usually so difficult. Just when you think it's over and done, here it comes again. Having only one child - a boy - I don't always get to experience the "drama" of life that seems to come more often with girls...except in times like these.

I don't want to embarrass either one of these teens. To be honest my heart hurts for both of them. I remember those raw hurts. And in some ways it's hurting me again right now. This morning I remembered part of a Bible verse that says to give thanks in everything. Well, where do you find the thanks in this? But it didn't take long to find a "thanks." Thank you, Lord, that he's (they are) experiencing this now and not for the first time in a difficult marriage...at a time when they are in their safe, familiar environments with the love of parents and friends to surround them. Because the fact of life is that there are lots of hurts. When we can first experience these hurts in a safe place, maybe...just maybe, it helps us to toughen up gradually...to learn how to handle such raw emotions...to have time to heal...to have time to forgive. Maybe...

Where's the Excitement

I can't even believe they have kept this blog activated since I haven't posted in 2 months! Lately, I haven't felt the urge to post about the day-in and day-outness of my life! LOL

Lately I've been wondering - where's the excitement? Now don't get me wrong, we've had a GREAT summer going to the beach and K and I had a vacation just the two of us. (First time in 16 years!) It's been wonderful. But still - outside of my family - I'm wondering, personally, for me - where's the excitement?

I caught a glimmer of it the other day - in the beauty shop. (Can I get an 'Amen', ladies!) Time for my cut and color, and on this afternoon there were several school-aged children in there probably getting their "back-to-school" cuts. Boys getting their summer growth tamed, and girls...girls with long hair taking the plunge! It was so cute! In one chair, there was a little girl with sister and mom and dad along. Mom had a magazine in hand, and was showing the stylist what they wanted done. How much to cut, will it look good, how about the upkeep? Then in another chair, was a cute young lady with mom anxiously looking on as a new "do" takes shape. Both of those girls were absolutely adorable after the hair had fallen, and the new do had taken shape.

I thought about the difference between us - I was feeling old and ugly - they were feeling perky and cute. Their excitement was catching - it was the beginning of something new - new do, new school year, new possibilities. Don't we have that everyday - new sunrise, new day, new possibilities. I really did feel a little bit of the excitement return. Who knows what's ahead for each one of us? I'm planning to change my "can't" to a new "do!"

Ramblings

I must be in a slump. It's been almost a month since my last blog post. I do think about it occasionally, but never seem to feel like I have anything worth talking about! But thought I would try again today as we begin the month of June. So here are some ramblings from Susan.

On one hand, I can't believe how fast time is flying. On the other hand, I can't wait for school to finish this week. I am so longing for my child to have some down time. He has put in 9 months of HARD WORK. He's done well, but seems like studying is about all he has time for.

Maintaining relationships is DIFFICULT. Enough said.

Went to our Lutheran Church's state meeting this weekend. Came away from there excited, encouraged and inspired! I pray I/we don't lose the enthusiasm.

Concerned about loved-ones facing cancer diagnosis. Heart is breaking, yet again.

Excited about a new ministry I hope will open up. At the same time, need to tone down excitement in areas I have no authority in. Difficult to do. Lots of ideas in my mind lately. Need to get them on paper to see what is viable.

Feeling bad about mistakes at work. Where has my brain been lately? Who knows...

Feeling grateful for wonderful friends. Not too long ago, it felt like I didn't have time to devote to those friendships. Now...more time opening up, and I feel so blessed.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE "date night" with my hubby.

So there - you have various states of my mind. Not pretty, huh!

Weary

Do you ever wake up weary? I did today. It happens occasionally. I used to think it was hormonal...but most of my hormones waved bye-bye to me some time ago. So, don't know what my excuse is now. Went to bed at 10:30...not so late...and to sleep shortly after that. Maybe it's the rain that has been around all week. Yeah, that's it...I'm missing out on my daily dose of vitamin D!

Regardless of the reason, days like this I can hardly make a decision. I'm glad I had my clothes ready for this morning - I'd probably still be home trying to figure out what to wear. I'm even having a difficult time trying to decide whether I go get Mother's Day presents today or tomorrow. See...insufficient gray matter today! :)

One thing I didn't forget to do this morning was pray. Today is the National Day of Prayer. See who the Honorary Chair is this year. So no matter if you're weary, excited, bored or normal (whatever that is) take a moment today to pray...pray for our president, our nation, our leaders, our state, our families, our homes...everything. God hears our prayers...He answers our prayers...He wants our prayers.

"I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone - for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth." (1 Timothy 2:1-4)

Mind Boggling

So...I haven't blogged in over a month. Just seems like I haven't had anything worth blogging about lately. Not that I do now...I've just got my "chatty" back so this post is bound to be a bit random. For some reason today a lot is roaming around in my mind. If you haven't been over to the LPM blog lately, now is the time to check it out. Melissa is on a trip with Compassion and it is a heart stopper.

Tomorrow is my Marketplace Bible Study day, and I'm not exactly sure what to do. I have a lesson ready - in fact, I now have 2 lessons. We'll just have to see where the Lord leads. So many times I feel so inadequate to lead Bible study. But I LOVE it. I just want God's message out there - not mine. I also feel like sometimes I turn people off. And really don't want to hurt feelings in the process of taking the Word of God to the People of God.

This leads to my Thursday night Bible study I worked on this afternoon - Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed. We're on the first 2 weeks, and I just finished the first week of homework. Priscilla hit me over the head with this first week. She talked about how God chooses us and equips us for the good works He has prepared for us to do. That we can't do it in our power, but God can do it through us. However, what spoke to me was the fact that programs don't matter, but people do, and her final story of a missed opportunity to share the Gospel.

All this was on my mind as I walked today. How do I reach out to the poor? What should Bible study focus on tomorrow? How am I reaching out to those right here in my backyard? Do I realize that people matter more than programs to God? Hence the mind-boggling state I find myself. Over time, it'll be sorted out. But for now, a lot of questions.

40th year, 11th month, 1st day...

This morning in my quiet time, I began reading the book of Deuteronomy. I am really looking forward to reading this book - again - from a new perspective. At this point in history, the Israelites are standing at the edge of the Promised Land (for the second time). I want to see what Moses tells them so they will get it right - this time. Have you not had a "this time" in your life? A chance to do it again, only right this time.

It only took three verses to catch my attention. In verse 2 of Deuteronomy 1 it says, "(It takes eleven days to go from Horeb to Kadesh Barnea by the Mount Seir road.)" Then verse 3 hit me right between the eyes - "In the fortieth year, on the first day of the eleventh month..." The journey that should have taken 11 days, took 40 years! How often have we done that? A job God gives us should take days, and we have managed to stretch it into years. Now some of our jobs are meant to last for years - spouse, parent; but there are some things God is ready for us to move on, and we are afraid. Fear and unbelief tripped up the Israelites, and it trips us up, too. How often do we tell ourselves, surely He doesn't mean me? I don't have the qualifications...I don't know how...I don't have time...I don't have_ _ _ you name it.

So the Israelites didn't get to see the Promised Land - only Caleb & Joshua. The rest? Dropped in the wilderness - the very thing they complained about (how many times) happened to them. And here their children are - ready to take possession - in the 40th year, the 11th month, the 1st day. And Moses wants them to get it right, this time. And so do I, this time. I believe God will speak volumes through the pages of Deuteronomy. Lord, give me ears to hear and a heart to follow.

Auto-Pilot

Are there times you feel like you are on "Auto-Pilot?" You know...times you're just going through the motions. You're doing what needs to be done, but there's no enthusiasm...to the point you wonder what has happened. Lately I seem to feel that way. I have experienced failure at a goal I was working towards lately. In the midst of that it hit me that I'd experienced failure at something much more important - church. Thing is, I'm not even sure when it started happening - it could have been years ago. Or the many ways that it's happening. I love my Bible study and Sunday school classes, but other than that, I seem to be adrift. Oh, we still come to church on Sundays, but I'm not making any effort to come to the mid-week Lenten services or participate in our strategic planning process - which the pastor has asked me about. No matter what the excuse, truth is, I feel stale; I feel like my input doesn't matter.

Don't be confused, I haven't given up on God. I still have my quiet time; still enjoy preparing for Bible study; still love my worship & praise music; still hear God speak to me through His Word. In fact, this morning He spoke to me through Ezra 3. The first thing the people did when they returned from Babylon to begin the rebuilding process in Jerusalem was rebuild the altar and begin regular sacrifices. (Note to self - sacrifices need to be made.) Then they began the process of rebuilding the temple. When the foundation was laid, the people praised the Lord. But the older people who remembered the beauty of the former temple wept aloud. Close your eyes and picture/hear this - there was a worship service with music and song. There were shouts for joy for the progress they had made and at the same time weeping for what used to be. Verse 13 says, "No one could distinguish the sound of the shouts of joy from the sound of weeping, because the people made so much noise. And the sound was heard far away." (Note to self - you can feel joy and sorrow at the same time - and others may not be able to tell the difference because of the noise!)

At least God has begun the process of working on my heart. I'm aware of the dullness now. And I know God won't leave me this way.

Checking In

So how are all my peeps out in Blogville? It's been a week in our household...a cold one. I am so ready for warmer weather, and it seems to be ready to begin tomorrow. If you can believe the weather prognosticators! :0 I really wanted some snow Sunday, but since we've missed that, I'd just as soon wait until next winter.

An update on what I've learned since my last post - there comes a time when parents have to just let go of our children's homework. It needs to become their responsibility TOTALLY. To be honest, I'm at the stage where I don't help, but I help worry about it. Last week we experienced a crisis with a project - information lost, deadline looming, major grade. I tried to stay out of it, remain calm, and let him handle it. After all, there really wasn't anything I could do. And...he has to begin to learn how to handle these SMALL problems, because he is guaranteed larger problems in life. And I think he handled it well. Information found, deadline met, presentation made. That one's behind us. It just seems like we've had some hurdles lately...nothing big...just the ankle biter kind.

But tonight, I'm sitting in front of the fire and waiting for American Idol. I'm sure Lil Rounds will make the final 12...it'll be interesting to see who else from last night. Thought many of the performances just weren't that great. I'm also waiting to see how the Wild Card option will work. There were a couple who were left out that I think deserved to be in the final 12. Hope it works!

Well...all this randomness is about to come to an end. My eyes are getting sleepy - already. Can't believe time changes this week. I'll never be able to get up early! :)

Peace out!

One of THOSE Days

It has already been one of THOSE days, and it's not even 8:30 in the morning for heaven's sake! D had a major project of which he lost important information. He needed to get to school early, but you guess it, we were running very late. He made it to school in time, but not in time to go beg for mercy from the teacher. I don't even want to talk about the main reason we were late...it'll just make me angrier! But one side reason, was that my coffee mug spewed coffee all over a new WHITE blouse I have yet to wear. Add to that the fact that we still have septic tank problems, and you have a glance at my day ---- one anyone would envy.

So here's a warning to anyone who knows me...you might want to steer clear of me today. I'm a woman with an attitude and I'm ready to use it! Pray for me!!!!

Get me through the normal!

We are blessed with a great 15-year-old son. He is responsible, respectful and thoughtful. But still the normal teenage issues can be enough to blow your mind! Knowing when to say "yes", when to say "no" and when to say "Let's just wait and see." Things could be so much more difficult, and I don't mean to complain, but sometimes this old brain just can't take another request.

I was that way last night. After I picked him up from yet another night away from home, here come two more requests, and I hit overload. I did have the presence of mind not to make an issue out of it right then - pick your battles. But as I said my prayers last night I said, "Lord, get me through the normal." It's normal requests, normal growing up and away things, normal tough for parents to let go things, normal difficult to understand where the time has gone things. For heaven's sake, he was just 5 years old a couple years ago!

K and I have both gone through these same emotional upheavals this weekend. At least his was Saturday and mine was Sunday. I tried to boost him up on Saturday, and he boosted me up last night.

So, today I thank God for "normal" issues...for a husband who can relate and nourish...for a son who is thoughtful and tries to understand...as I pray for strength to get through the normal.